Monday, June 27, 2005
In China Right Now
After that, it all blurs into a haze.
I think I went to see Jiang Men's factories. Jean Factory of the world. It also happens to blacken the sky. But Jiang Men is in Guangdong and as such, the food there is fantastic.
It's fucking Fantastic.
After that, it was off to Jiu Sang. Jiu Sang is a billion islands that happen to be chinese but happen to eat stuff only Koreans should eat and look like ppl that only hard core traditional japanese ppl would fuck.
We went there to look at fish. Not much else to look at.
Then we went to Hanzhou, then to Shanghai and then back to Hanzhou.
Shanghai has really pretty girls. It has everthing Hanzhou has except that it's bigger and has more of it. Oh yeah, their also pretty fucked up. They have a menu for Outsiders and a menu for Insiders. There's an English/Chinese Menu in Big Signs all over the store. But in the corner, laminated gently with duct tape is the same menu only with Chinese only prices. If you don't read Chinese, you pay 3x more. If you don't know the price, you pay 3x more. If you are from Guangdong, be prepared to be treated like dirt.
Also, if you go to China, don't go to Canton(Guangdong). The food there is so much better it'll ruin your tastes for life. SO MUCH BETTER. I didnt say clean, but it the best shit you've ever tasted in your fucking life.
Too bad Hanzhou and Shanghai can't boast the same. If you see tourists eating at the same restaurant you sit in, take heed and leave that place immediately. Because the food they serve to tourists is not fit to serve to dogs--no, not even dogs.
I'm in Canton right now writing this using some company's computer. This company is like a startup/garage company so they live/play/eat/shit here...And yet it's oddly organized. Only Chinese ppl have uber-expensive tea sets coupled with cartons upon cartons of smokes. You might consider this a balance between healthiness and vice. I just call it weird.
Everyone's real dumb here about electronics so there's absolutely no market here for service consumer electronics like fans, mp3 players, etc. They buy whatever looks nice and works. Sony, fer instance. Branding is so important in China, it hurts my wallet just to even think about it. People buy eye cams but have no idea how to set it up. They order CABLE internet service but live with 10 kilobyte per second downloads. They take their hard earned money and eat at KFC and McDonalds when I would give anything to be able to kidnap their shittiest 4 star chef.
Stuff here is also really cheap compared to the dollar. 13 dollars USD gets you 5 dishes. Feeds 4 ppl to the brim. And it comes with soup. Guangdong is cheap and tasty.
But Hanzhou is pretty. It has a huge lake and a mountains in the middle. It's so comfortable there you could die. Which is literally what ppl go there to do. Strangely enough, it's also widely considered to be the second most pretty-girl county in China (the first being Souzhou).
Beijing, I've heard, is even nicer but when is it ever a nice idea to sit next to the king? Damocles' sword and all that mumbo jumbo.
I'll be back on the 3rd. I didnt take any pictures because my camera broke. But I'll prolly be back next year. So who the fuck cares. I'm not really a picture person. I did buy some postcards...and then i realized that I didnt want to send them. Well, I just realized the person I wanted to send them too prolly wouldnt want to recieve them. And that really sucks. Cuz the postcards cost me 2 dollars RMB each! That's 20 cents!!!!
Thursday, June 16, 2005
I Have Arrived In HONG KONG
So I stayed the night at Auntie #4, from my mother's side; I'll prolly stay an extra day, just to snap pictures and everything. Hong Kong is beautiful in the night. And if you know where to walk, the smell of cars, odors, and petrol oil isn't that hard to ignore. In fact, it smells kinday homey.
I love harbor cities. I grew up in New York, after all. They're the best type of city. IMHO, the only worthwhile city type. Just prosperous, professional, speedy, and rude. Awesome.
I'm going to buy some shoes and maybe drink myself silly. And then it's off to China to do god know's what. Massage? Hehe. Oddly enough I'm not looking forward to 'massages'. What I want to do is check out the bookstores--not the commercial ones, you know antique book stores--the oddest versions of American literature turn up in these little places. Like Sun Tzu Bing Fa translated into English with Chinese subtitles and cartoon projections.
This will be the last entry for a while; I come back on the 3rd of August. This is Mario signing off.
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
Anime Rant: Anime I've Watched, Dropped, and Copped
From 1 to 5
1.Erementar Gerad - Have you seen Mar Heaven? It's the same thing. Naruto kid underachiever gains some power, thrust into adventure. This has a bit of humor to this, more characters, and conceptualized characters...Promising but I'm not 10 years old. DO NOT WATCH.
2.Lazytner- Interesting stuff. It's half serious half power ranger. It has potential but the designs are obviously demoed toward children--not that that's necessarily bad, not that it's particulary good either. Mecha designs are outdated--most likely based on a toy that didn't sell well. Still, promising. Ppl die in it--that's always a good sign.
3.Xabungle - It's like One Piece. Well done but still shonen. I'll prolly follow this to the end.
4.Popoloiscrois Story - Excellent anime. Story? Who cares. Design, story, and coloring is what makes this Zelda knockoff excellent--especially after a smoke/hallucinogen.
5. Karas - BAD, unwatchable anime. Stupid. Why is this number 5? The budget for this anime is huge. HUGE! It's like a Lindsay Lohan porn flick--who cares if the storie sucks?--BREASTS!!!
Monday, June 13, 2005
Weather Rant: Thunder Thunder Thunderstorm!
Chinese people are preoccupied with prophecies. The fatal kind. This could be dismissed as mass superstition. Then again, you are dismissing the oldest civilization with a written history, which may be the scientific thing to do, but arguably, not the wisest.
On the tv, an all-chan weather warning about a brewing hailstorm broadcasted. Northwest Indiana bore the brunt of it but as I'm writing, the final fiduciary damages have not yet been assessed.
What's the point of this rant?
This is the month of June. "Liu yue Fei Xiang, bie you shi xiang"
That's a Chinese saying.
Not really a saying. More like an omen.
Not really a omen. More like a "oh my god, there's fuckin' hail in June, something fucked up is going to happen in the Midwest."
Take it with a grain of salt, you can, but I'm telling you. Throughout history, Chinese scholars have linked such omens to A-class disasters: civil war, invasion, calamities, disease, famine--World Ending Stuff.
Then again, it could just be hail.
Sunday, June 12, 2005
Movie Rant: Daemon-Bourne
Here's an interview i picked up over at darkhorizon
Matt Damon's got a good Harvard head on his shoulders.
MATT DAMON INTERVIEW
Question: Do you get disappointed with the kinds of big action movies Hollywood makes?
Answer: Yes more often than not I'm disappointed in big studio fair, the higher the budget they in for a lower common denomination a way and a... I mean I had this conversation with my father, we were driving in New York, I think over Christmas, and we were passing all these bus stops, and all these posters for these movies, and after about 20 blocks he said, I haven't seen one poster for a movie that I want to go see. And I said Dad, if you see a poster of a movie that you want to see, someone should lose their job in the marketing department. Because they don't market movies for 60 year old men they market them for 13 year old boys and a, particularly the big ones, you know, and so yeah, when I choose the movie it's always with that in mind with thinking about, trying for instance in the movie try to make it smarter, try to make it different, try to make interesting and try to make it be about the character, we want it with both these movies to be about you know, this character driven action movies where the character grows organically out of the story and you are not setting your watch to the explosion. As my theory on porn movies. , on action movies, you know how tired I am, Yeah, No. It's all going to make sense in a minute. My theory on action movies is that they are like porn movies, right, honestly think about it right, a porn movie "this is important". A porn movie's got really bad writing, really bad acting and really silly drawn characters and they have a really shitty scene and they talk and say hey you know "I am the milk man" you know, and it's really bad and you know what's going to happen and then there's some action, and then you get the action and then you don't really feel anything for the action and then when the action's over then you get another action and then you get another really stupid scene with you know, Hey I'm the Male. And nobody dies.
Answer: Yes and nobody dies right. And that's the difference between porn movies and action movies.
Question: Would you do porn movies?
Answer: What's that?
Question: How do you feel about doing porn movies?
Answer: I'm feeling like I can but I want to do is a character-driven porn movie. It's all going to be about characters, and the porn's gonna grow all out of the character's and it's going to serve as character development.
Actually Doug said to me he wanted us to the first director and actor team that made the porn version of the actual movie. Because you know how movie titles get porn titles, they have movies, they rip them off and Doug suggested that he and after the first movie, makes the Porn Identity and is the first people ever to do that.
Question: Is there anything you have regretted turning down?
Answer: not yet, nothing yet that I regretted turning down.
Anime Rant: Anime I've Watched So Far
Samurai Champloo: excellent beginning, one million episodes of boringness afterwards.
I really like Monster and Fantastic Children though...except for the fact that some episodes were directed by this guy I really hate. Absolutely moronic episodes. A string of them too. Really ruins the middle of the series. It's hard to not watch the badly directed ones because of the single arc/non shonen aspect of it too. When One Piece gets boring, I can skip directly to the next arc, you know. Or skip entire episodes and still get the story. Can't really do that with Seinen which demands consistency.
Anime I've Dropped Due to Them Being Ass-faced
Key The Metal Idol - I don't know. I got my version from A4E but I keep thinking they removed parts of it. There are scenes missing. Same thing with Iria too. I cant watch stuff where scenes are missing.
Anime I'm Following Now
Sousei no Aquarion- NGE. Fuck the plot, just watch it for the reincarnation and the relationships. I'm a sucker for love-hate relationships. Especially between two reincarnated lovers. Yar. I'm easy. I'll prolly follow this one to the end.
Otouzigashi-The plot is boring. The characters are boring. But then i felt the same way with Juuni Kokki and J.K. was brilliant. I'll follow this for 9 episodes and if it still sucks i'm dropping it.
Anime that Grabbed Me from the Start
Getter Robo 2004
Friday, June 10, 2005
Comics Review: Pick of the Weeks!
Reginald Huldin, in this issue, wrote a great little thing with Sentry and Spider-man. Not only does it riff on Lois Lane, it riffs on Superman. It riffs on Ant Man and reminds us all that Spider-man is on the intelligence level of the guy that created Ultron. This book is what Makes Marvel Marvel. Irreverant and Creative. There are like seven or 10 streaming concepts in this book.
Like Superman's spaceship as a Baby Machine, remixing Krypton DNA with Human DNA--explains why Kryptons look like humans. Explains the powers too.
Has Lois Lane dig Peter Parker.
Brings back the Spider-tracer. Spider tracers are cool, smart, and cool. Yes, i said cool twice. Fuck off.
Has Superman's clothes burnt off.
The list goes on...
Imagine: A future where DC is no more.
A future where Sentry takes over all Superman books
A future where Punisher takes over all Batman books
A futre where...hrm..that's about it for the DC popular list.
Sucky Comic of the Week:
Rann Thanagar War
I don't know who wrote this but it is the most campy sickfest, and totally reverse Andy Diggle-like and Andy Diggle was the one who wrote the Adam Strange preludes to this War!
For god's sake, I dont care about my views being subjective. I don't care because I'm fucking right. Why do you make shit so campy! What the fuck is wrong with you? Oh, he's the green lantern. He's bad. Wait one frame, and you repeat the sentence again! What the bloody fuck! Are you taking lessons from John Bryne. Bloody hell. This is the worst comic book i've ever read in my entire life. Give me back my money. My youth. My time. My liver.
You suck, mr. thanagar writer. You suck so much. You suck almost as much as Goyer. I'm sorry. I take that back. No one deserves to be compared with Goyer...unless you ARE Goyer...
Who the fuck writes like this?
"Kyle, I'm honored to..."
"The feeling's mutual!"
The feeling's up your ass!
If DC did not have Superman or Batman...the whole line would just die. They've go no good new ppl!!! None!!
Commentary: China Bound.
So If you dont see me posting...that's because I'm not posting.
But since I have no readership....Fuck you.
Yes. Fuck you all!!!!
I'll be posting some China pics when I return though.
Do you think they'll mind if I sneak in some herb?
Thursday, June 09, 2005
A Real Batman Review
Site: Savage Critic(s) or here
Blog Entry: Wednesday, June 8, 2005
EXCERPT ONE OF THREE
Thankfully you almost never see the full Batman costume, because it looks pretty silly. In the few shots where it was just shoulders up, talking, it looked like Bale would topple over from the top-heaviness of the suit.Lewd Paraphrase 1: Batman Costume looks like a duck that got fucked by Tyson. In the mouth.
On the other hand, I thinking changing Ra's motivation in the way that they did probably weakens the character. I mean with comic book Ra's I might even be with him pretty much everywhere up to "so, then we kill 90% of the population!" This one I was definitely less down with.Lewd Paraphrase 2: Bad guys are bad guys. Good guys are good guys. Don't expect the bad guy to surprise you. What do you think this movie is? Whedon's Serenity? Who do you think Batman is? Malcom Reynolds?
So, yes, I enjoyed it -- it had depth, it was thoughtful, it built its themes, and it all comes down to explosions and punches, as such things do. Without the need to give pretty much every character some sort of role in the climax, I think it might have been more satisfying.Lewd Paraphase 3: It's dumb entertainment. It's stylish. It's decent. But don't expect Sin City. Don't expect American Pyscho. Don't expect. Expect Goyer.
Summary: Most people arent looking for interesting, surprising, or thoughtful stuff. Their not looking for things that make them feel bad, good, sad or horrified. Their looking to kill time. Their looking to justify the time they've killed by lauding the item they've killed their time with.
This is what the studio's think. And their wrong. When you make a movie, and someone buys the right to view it, that's an audience. An audience means: "Teach me something. I'm giving you free reign over my mind."
That's a mind man. The least you could do, out of respect to your audience, is to fuck up this mind so completely, it demands a sequel so that you can unfuck it.
Batman is a the revolution in us all. He is the Guevera, he is the ghandi, he is the Osama Bin Laden. This is what Batman is. An urban terrorist. You could portray him as something else but why? You've already had a PG version origin story of him. Why make Batman Origin 2.0? Why remake a movie that hasnt had time to lie fallow? In agriculture, whenever you try to farm fallow land, you create topsoil erosion. All WB's/DC's franchises will suffer from this--just like the ppl from Kansas suffered from Dust Bowl tornadoes. They will all suffer and wither and die.
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
Movie Commentary: Christopher Nolan and the Fate of Batman
And then they talk up a storm, leading to another fade out to another memory sequence.
Memento is like an advanced version of The Following. It's paced a bit better because of the mystery/hook in Memento is far more interesting than the one in Following. The first scene in memento is a reverse gunshot to the head, followed by a man who voice overs: I dont remember squat.
Christopher Nolan loves voice overs. And he knows how to use them. Can Christopher Nolan Write? I didnt think the main character in Following had any of those 'personality defining' scenes...you know, the relationship stuff or dialogue like "I hate puppies." Those Whedonesque one-liners or situations between characters that define two personalities is what I missed. There's a lot of organization of the plot in the script though. Can he direct? Yup.
Can Goyer write? Nope.
Will Batman Begins be good? Who knows?
At least it will be technically impressive. It might not be Watchmen or Godfather or Braveheart but then, it's Warner Brothers. "Be glad of the present course for their is no limit to the depths they can sink to."
Monday, June 06, 2005
Tech News: Apple Becomes Intelapple
Apple uses x68 processors.
Xbox uses PPC processors.
Intel and Apple are in bed. Having Sex. And IBM? He's fornicating with the devil.
What is the world coming to?
Engadget has this nice piece on Job's keynote at the Apple conference today. No new hardware news but they did drop one helluva bombshell.
I'm telling you, if my games and apps can port over to Apple, I might just go see what the fuss is all about.
Commentary: Dapreview Contest
I'm suppose to match the rebranded DAP mp3 player to the orignal OEM and model.
If I dont win, i'm going to be really PISSED OFF.
I want my free batteries dammit!
Crap I didnt win. boohoo!
Batman Screener Reviews
CBR's Khasil Asadullah had this to say "This movie was made possible by the great writing skills of David S. Goyer. Goyer has brought to life the vision that Frank Miller had in mind when he re-vamped the Batman character with the graphic novel "Batman: Year One." Goyer's writing and the direction of Nolan has made a movie that truly is what hardcore comic fans have been begging for all these years."
My Response: How much did they pay you for your soul?
*Find my blog article entitled "Commentary: Goyer Sucks Dick" for further exploratory.
But seriously, the movie may be good. I havent read the original script that was purposefully accidentally leaked onto the net. I havent seen Memento so I dont know how good this Nolan bloke is. Rogert Ebert and Puppy seems to like it so it cant be entirely stupid.
But Goyer...thankfully, I heard Nolan wrote the script with him so...Thank God.
Comic News: Xmen 3, Wizard World Con, etc
Read up on any of these articles as their the ones that are most interesting. My kudos to CBR for such great coverage. BTW, half of what makes these articles interesting is the writer, so kudos to CBR for finding a plum writer like Justin Jordan, too.
Ratner is X3 Director, This Week Anyways
Singer left X3, Vaughn joins, gets fired, and the suits now decide to hire...Brett Ratner! Boy, someone over at Fox has a pretty big vindictive and petty streak. This is obviously a Hollywood gesture. Ratner's pissed at DC for taking his Superman away after wooing it for so long, and Fox is pissed at Singer leaving X3. So now we've got two factions. If Singer ever works for 20th Century Fox again, I'll eat my hat. You hear me? Eat. My. Hat. And the preproduction time for this film...if Whedon, who worked for TV, shyed away from it, what chance does Ratner have?
WW Philly Convention
*Boring stuff really. What was interesting was all on the DC panel. Dan Didio's take on Batman and his killer is that: "What kind of detective is he if he cant find the identity of his parents' killer?"
The couterpart to this argument is: "What would be his motivation when he finds out? The nameless killer's face is blank and also upon ever punk and rapist Batman faces in the future, a sort of projecting psychosis, if you will."
Personally, i think Batman should find out. Beating up criminals and poor people after his main motivation is gone only enhances the pyschotic nature of Batman. Come on. Batman is a bounty hunter. You think professional bounty hunters do it for the money? They do it for something else. Something althogether unhealthy.
*Oh, Batman's succession is taken care of in the coming Crisis. Who becomes Batman when Batman falls. Once again, Didio is on the mark.
*Didio described the Allstar Batman as Frank Miller's Batman Year Two with emphasis on the relationship between Bats and his sidekick Robin. This is good: Year One books have always had a decent quality, and Frank Miller's Year Ones have reinvigorated many characters. This is bad: Frank Miller is weird. Frank Miller might make everything homosexual and DKSA again. Ugh. I'll read it anyways. It's Frank Miller for god's sake--which really begs the question: Why isn't DC hiring Frank Miller to create NEW characters or invigorate OLD ones? Imagine a Miller-written The Question. Yeah. I feel it, too. Goosebumps.
*there's more batman stuff that's uber interesting, check the comicbookresources link. It has some more of the minor details. Like the difference between jason todd and spoiler.
Hellboy as a cartoon?
Hell, that would be awesome. But then again, seeing as how American animation talent consists of Paul Dini, his close friends, Dini's dog and possibly Seth Green, where in the world is Mignola going to find a showrunner? Face it, finding a Guillermo Del Toro, someone with both respect for the original concept and with the necessary technical expertise in the field is like soul-searching in an Enron CEO retreat. Damn, I'm funny.
Sunday, June 05, 2005
History Mystery: Ben Franklin Kills Brits!
In 1997, underneath the house of Ben Franklin's house in London, 10 corpses were found.
Buried. With indications that further excavation lay even more!
The Benjamain Franklin House Foundation were doing some restorative work, after finally raising the required funds--imagine their shock! Some suggest that these corpses were the result of late night grave-robbing. In that 18th century, using corpses for anatomy study was illegal, and many eminent scientists, such as Benjamin Franklin opposed it. Many doctors had to resort to grave-robbing to find enough material to conduct their anatomy experiments/cataloguing. In fact, Franklin once lent his house to Hewes, a forefather of anatomy science in England. It is possible that Franklin may have wittingly or unwittingly helped Dr. Hewes with his ghastly, nightly endeavors.
Summarized/paraphrased from source: Sunday Times, February 11 1998
Cut to 7 years after the article was printed, the Franklin house has not been reopened. Fishy, eh? Forensic analysis has revealed that out of these 10 corpses, 4 are adults and the rest, children. All 10's bones show signs of having been sawed, hacked, dissected, and drilled upon.
I am a big Ben Franklin fan. If there's any information on this please email me at email@example.com
If you are a British reader, could you send 2 letters for me? One to Charing Cross, the police station, and the other to Westminster Mortuary, the morticianer's office, the two agencies that would have handled this case.
Say that you are interested because you recently unearthed a family diary circa and in it were something regarding a missing family member--a child. You are interested in the bones that were uncovered in Westminster circa...pick a year between 1757-1775 (specifically the Ben Franklin House)--since the diary indicated that Westminster was where they lived. Ask them to send, if possible, any information through email, as this is preferred.
ADDRESSES TO SEND TO:
(The police station)
London WC2N 4JP
Tel: (020) 7240 1212
Westminster Coroner's Court
65 Horseferry Road
Tel 020 7834 6515
Saturday, June 04, 2005
Political Rant: On Gangs
That's what filosophers call a social contract. Anarchy, bad. Arg.
There's a UIC professor who said something queer regarding society and gangs. I never really heard what he had to say since it wasnt his thesis. It was just some offhand comment that spread around the campus. He said, and I paraphrase:"Gangs are sometimes beneficial to society."
For some reason, that profundity jolted a memory from my head. The halycon days of highschool--unless of course, you were a metro user, in which case, it was russian roulette with some punks from the Clinton H.S. who made it a sport to mug other High Schools. It was always the same 2 or 3 groups. If only a police was there, you say. There were 2. And so when I spotted a group of familiar Clinton faces, I did my job as a civilian and experienced coward; I promptly told the police on them.
The policeman laughed. Weakling. Fight your own battles. He didnt say that out loud but i've always been good with faces.
So the Clinton kids kept on robbing the Bronx Science kids. A week later, a vietnamese acquaintace of mine was slashed. Turns out, the Clinton Kids are good with faces, too. It was a grotesque scar. Pink, fleshy and long. I don't quite remember how he looked like but I do remember how ugly he became.
Most ppl unconsciously herded together after that. But the Clinton kids didnt need numbers. They had a mean streak, and mugging to them, i later discovered, was a sport.
It's likely that this vicious ritual continues to this day. After all, dumb kids don't like smart kids. Always will be, always has been. But would'nt mart kids, if they had been truly smart, have found a way to stop them?
Maybe if there was a gang to hire. A protection fee to pay whenever the Clinton Kids over extended their domain. Gangs would have been useful then. It would have prolly been most useful to the kid who got his face carved like a turkey, eh? Face it, sometimes cops dont do their job. It may be ineptitude or it may be the fact that there's so much crime and so many cops. I dont really care. Some kid got his face scarred for life. And that's messed up.
Hey, from a gang perspective, criminal or illegal activities are nothing more than services that a government refuses or inadequately provides.
Chew on that.
Author News: Orson Scott Card Interviewed
Source: The interview is MIT but I read it on bookslut.com
"OSC: I’m proud that they have found it useful in training leaders. Nobody thinks it’s useful for tactics, of course, because they’re not fighting three dimensional wars in space against hive-minded aliens. But it’s been used both as sort of a morale builder and as a leadership training device, but the ironic thing is that it’s not a pro- or anti-military novel. I’ve read a lot of military history and what I tried to reflect was what I found in the history.
When I was very young, I read Bruce Catton’s trilogy The Army of the Potomac, which is serious history, so I was reading in some ways over my head, but very good in the detailed day-to-day life of the soldiers, the misery, the suffering, and the number of soldiers who died for the sheer stupidity of their commanders. When I talk about the Iraq war being amazingly good and clean, it’s that we have so little stupidity compared to most wars..."
Great. Now I got to read The Army of the Potomac. Thanks a lot, Card. It's not a very good interview but between the fine cracks are information nonetheless.
First of all, he's telling people to mind what he says and what he writes as two separate entities separate from each other. That probably means that sales are down on his books. He's losing clout.
Second of all, he writes stuff with the hope that it will change the world in some small way. This is why scifi trilogies that strech out have a tendency to become pedantic. The Honey Before the Rhetoric, so to speak. OSC is but one of the many with such delusions of grandeur.
Third, it's not quite delusional.
Super Rant: Annoying Islands
Iran, Iraq 2.0, or Korea.
Its not going to be Korea, since China practically owns that country.
It's not going to be any country that has nuclear weapons that's for sure.
Which begs the question--why is Cuba in existence?
It's within missle distance AND it's a non-democratic anti-American nation--lingo for not within the influence of USA.
So why hasnt it been demolished. Bay of Pigs is no deterrent. God knows, more ppl have died more stupidly for simpler conflicts due from wilder causes ordered from less-than-wise higher-uppers.
If Cuba had nuclear missles, the embargo would have been lifted ages ago. You dont embargo a nuclear power. It just isnt done. But let's say that Cuba doesnt really need a nuke. A barrage of dirty missle short rangers spreading nuclear waste over the heart of USA is a perfectly workable alternative. While not powerful enough to demand an embargo lift, it is sufficient deterrent enough to give an invading neighbor pause.
Taiwan is to China as to Cuba is to USA.
It's only a matter of time before Cuba needs to be removed from the strategic map.
Friday, June 03, 2005
Comics Review: Savage Critic Style
I shall counter-review them.
ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN #640:
Brian's Grade: Preposterous Ending
My Grade: Stupid, stupid, stupid. Uninteresting stuff. Mainly Superman vs. Bad Guy. Nothing novel.
He's right. The end reveal is preposterous--also, who the hell cares?
AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #520:
Brian's Grade: Too much Avengers
My Grade: Mr. Hibbs is pretty on the mark here. Spider-man just seem really weird. Like he doesnt belong in the Avengers. Whoever thought that Spiderman living in Iron Man Towers was a good idea is an idiot.
Brian's Grade: Superman and Batman scenes were idiotic.
My Grade: Not exactly. Superman and Batman scenes werent idiotic. They were there to cast some sortah way to background who Red Hood is. I mean, not everyone knows he's the rezzed Jason Todd. Still, who the fuck cares about J. Todd?
CAPTAIN AMERICA #6:
Brian's Grade: A strong ok.
My Grade: This series reminds me of Astonishing X-men. Great beginning until you find out who the villain is. Come the fuck on! The Danger Room? Bucky? What? Just for once, I'd like some foreshadowing. Sometimes these plot climaxes resemble ass shots from the writer--You know, them shooting these stories from their asses, never mind.
DAY OF VENGEANCE #2:
Brian's Grade: Not in character
My Grade: Actually, who gives a crap if they're in character--that's the beauty of using "C" list characters--the ability to erase all their shitty characteristics and replace them with some realistic ones. I'm not a big DoV#1 fan but DoV#2 hints at a larger story, a distintively noteworthy Billy Willingham one.
DC SPECIAL THE RETURN OF DONNA TROY #1:
Brian's Grade: This is one of the places where the usual critic scale fails me -- it's worse than "EH", but "AWFUL" seems to harsh.
My Grade: No comment from me. Brian's way to polite. I'd have use the words 'fuckin' and 'dogshit' to describe the radioactive vibe of this 'mic. Not a particularly auspicious way to launch a new logo, DC. Not at all.
FANTASTIC FOUR #527:
Brian's Grade: well-written, pretty to look at, and some solid ideas.
My Grade:Hehe, the nick fury scene is funny. Itsa well written too. Not too wild about the mention of the "Fantastic Four is broke" story tie-in. For one thing, that was a stupid storyline because it paints the fantastic four as complete idiots, the city of new york as tax-leeching douche bags, and--what kind of leader are the Richards if they cant even run their own company? Would you trust the world to them? At the end of the day, culpability is not what ruins a man, it's what you let slip when it's your turn at bat. Look at Ulysses S. Grant. Thankfully, this story only uses that continuity to springboard to a NEW STORY. A interesting one. Finally and thank god.
Brian's Grade: Still suffering a bit from the Too Many Characters and Too Many Plans
My Grade:Hah. Brian Hibbs gave this a strong OK because of Geoff Johns. I give it a strong kick in a back and a open flame.
Brian's Grade: I thought ULTRA was keen from the first issue -- this grabbed me much less, what with the "get me wet" and "squeeze my melons"
My Grade: This book is really promising. ULTRA is a P.O.S. comic. The book starts off weird but it ends even weirder. Nice.
GREEN LANTERN #1:
Brian's Grade: this was pretty dull.
My Grade: Geoff Johns smokes too much weed. I never got why he's so popular. This issue--again, dogshit, who cares, writer-should-commit-seppuku, take your pick. I'm overexagerrating. I expected a bit more, though.
INCREDIBLE HULK #81: Brian's Grade: And the coda was really unnecessary.
My Grade: Peter David is a good writer. He certainly knows how to write. I wish he would pick stronger main themes to work with. To tell you the truth, i thought Fallen Angel was a piece of shit but I've loved everything else he's done. Strange innit? Me like this issue. Decapitation is the answer to everything.
Brian's Grade: Awful
My Grade: Awful
MACHINE TEEN #1: Fucking awful
NEW X-MEN HELLIONS #1:
Brian's Grade: really horrendously long way to go to get that set-up together.
My Grade: I'm a big fan of rich kid stories. Their alot more intesting than the other golden team--what were they called? The X-kids? The Asshats? The one with the Golden Kid and the Black kid and the noriko robot-arm chick? Oh yeah, I remember now. The Bitchfats. Hrm. Or not.
OMAC PROJECT #2:
Brian's grade: I'll go with OK, though I basically Don't Care.
My Grade: I like my Batman as an asshole and unlikable. I like OMAC #2. For one thing, Checkmate sends Superhuman OMACs after Batman. Finally, villains who takes out the JL intelligence network first(Batman, Oracle, etc)!. The #2 issues of the Crisislings have all been good; they get the ball rolling. If DC keeps it up, they might beat Marvel. Now, isnt that a quaint idea?
Brian's Grade: Awful
My Grade: Crossover, yes. Awful, no. Seeing as how Outsiders suck, any crossover that introduces a new story is welcomed. Did I mention how Outsiders suck? Plus Branicac in one page is sixty times more interesting than Metamorpho 2.0, or Kid Green Arrow-no, Red Arrow-No, Assenal--No, Mr. Walking-Beat-me-up-what-am-i-doing-here-where's-my-mask-Please-kidnap-my-daughter Man--What the fuck is up with the characters in Outsiders? They've on going through what I like to call--Please ruin me like you've done NW's character! Oh yes, spank ys harder, Mr. DC...Oh shit. I wrote that out loud.
Brian's Grade: Kind of a wasted issue -- extraordinarily little happens in the first half, while the second half is yet another "let's walk through the possibilities".
My Grade: Runaways is like...Defex from DDP. A few issues of good, a few issues of bad.
Nowhere as strong or coherent as volume one. But I cant blame Vaughn. Judging by the amount of sales Runaways v1 accrued, the change in direction may be warranted. I also really dug the artstyle in volume one. Comic book geeks are so anti-manga to the point of nationalism, you know. Makes me sick. Runaways needs a main character. Like Monkey D. Luffy, Son Gohan, or Inuyasha. Someone pure and straightforward. This archetype is a magnet for readership.
ULTIMATE IRON MAN #2:
Brian's Grade Again, not any Iron Man I've ever read before, but, judging on it's own merits this is solid enough comics.
My Grade: Ender! Ender! Ender! Excellent. Bean! Bean! Bean!
Iron Man is about brains, mecha, and money. Orson's on the mark here. If i had my way, i'd dig up Asimov's corpse and get him typing too. Oh wait, i think i already did that. Injunction Lawsuit from Mrs. Asimov next Thursday.
ULTIMATES 2 #6:
Brian's Grade: solid VERY GOOD.
My Grade: Defender Issue. Hank Pym Issue. Some reveals. Piece of shit issue about uninteresting characters that really dont advance the plot at all. There is one page of plot in the whole piece of shit--Yeah, i'm pretty vehement against filler. And, don't mistake it, this is complete filler.
Without Crisis, Marvel's batch of comics would have kicked Dc's ass.
Commentary: Goyer Sucks Dick
No, i'm just kidding. But I wouldnt even call him a dicksucker even if I were kidding. Dicksucking is a perfectly honourable hobby. Not to be sullied with creators who sell their souls for a few pieces of silver.
Top 10 Things Wrong with David Goyer
1. He directed Blade 3.
2. In Blade 3 he thought it was good to have his hero bitch stick an ipod in her ears.
3. He let actors ad lib. Ryan Reynolds is not suppose to write the story.
4. He didn't care enough to study the craft of directing. He experimented on the career of Wesley Snipes. Wesley Snipes should be angry. He has every right to be.
5. He sucks dick.
6. He sucks a LOT of dick.
7. He cannot tell the difference between a good scene and a bad scene. Guillermo's Blade 2 was the best in the series. Story sucked but that was because of Goyer.
8. Goyer pretends to be a comic book fan. He co-writes comic books because he cant write a decent one himself.
9. The scripts for the Blade movies read like spaghetti. LOTS OF CHEESE.
10. Why does Blade always get captured all the fucking time? I mean, come on. That's not a plot device, that's stupidity. All 3 films with the same ass plot. Idiotic.
Christopher Nolan is too friendly with David Goyer. He does not realize that, in order to have a good movie, one must totally ignore David Goyer. Batman Begins is going to suck because of this. Goyer: The Person who Killed Batman.
Anime Review: Samurai Champloo
The director and possibly writer of this series is none other than the guy responsible for Cowboy Bebop.
Here's what you need to know about his shows.
Episode 1-3 Set up interesting characters using nice camera angles.
Episode 4-23 Refuse to do any stories. Autopilot.
Episode 24-26 Do one arc that resolves the whole story. End it meaninglessly.
That's about all you need to know. People that like his work are all posers. There is no way a person can with stand 20 episodes of pure filler.
Samurai Champloo, while stylish, is an utter piece of dogshit. Fucking bitches. Who the fuck funds this asshole.
Thursday, June 02, 2005
Filesharing News: Piratebay Site Downed
Why did it go down? They have this to say.
Boy, those guys crack me up. Its like watching a robber stop to moon the cops that chase them.
A New and Improved Piratebay site is being prepared, evidently. Possibly to counteract the latest infestations of fake torrent links and trojans plaguing the some of the categories--most noticeably, the movie section.
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
Anime Links: Quick Links to Porn By
Just sign up a free account and you get access to doujinshi up the wazoo.
100% legitimate free.
Comics/Tech Crossover: Green Lantern 2.0!
"In brightest day, in blackest night,
no evil shall escape my sight!
Let those who worship evil's might,
beware my power.. Green Lantern's light!"
I just couldn't help myself.
Green Lantern Radio vs.Gundam
Tech News: USB port to PS/2 Device
This is from Keyspan.
But port converters like these are expensive and not worth the price.
You can make your own.
Remember black wire is vc++(ground) and red is vc--(source).
Green and white are data. Instead of buying this shit, just splice your own. Usb cables cost a quarter or something.
Comic Review: Hitman
Have you ever seen "Ying Xiong Ban Shi" (英雄本色) directed by John Woo and starring Chow Yun Fat. There's a scene in the episode where the heroes are dying and the main villain gloats:
"You think good people get a happily ever after? Hah."
10 minutes later, an old hero with bullet wound in his heart, with only enough energy to lift up his gun one inch off the ground smiles and says, "So what? You think bad guys live happily ever after either?" The old hero promply shoots the Main Villain in the head.
That's scene, if you enjoyed it, is the whole gist of Hitman. It's not a simple scene. There's existentialism, definitions of moral boundaries, and morbid comedy timing.
Anime Commentary: 2004-2005 Anime I've Watched So Far
Anime I've watched and dropped due to them being utterly stupid
Anime that are dont have a good hook but niggles my Might be Good meter.
Samurai Champloo, Monster, Fantastic Children, FMA, Speed Grapher, Beck
Anime that Grabbed me from the start.
Elfen Lied, Basilisk
Here is a picture of my thumb.
Take a toilet roll. Cut it to fit loosely around your thumb. Wrap Thumb in some cushiony substance--maybe toilet paper.
Duct Tape it.
Always remember to peroxide out your wound and then use Yunnan Baio Yang (North White Medicine?) to powder/inoculate the flesh wound. Band aid before putting it in the cast.
Taking a bath is going to be so difficult now. Sigh. In case you were wondering, I cut it while opening up some lobster crates to shove into the tank.