Sunday, July 31, 2005



I apologize. I'm a dick.

I was gonna post more often but when you have no content it's hard to pull some out of your ass.

The only content i have up is my recent computer which I've splurged on.

Upcoming Desktop: Hehe, this is my 1100 dollar Xbox.

CPU: AMD 64 3000+
Case: Aspire Qpack
Ram: Not yet
HD: 250gb sata
GFX:Ati Radeon x800xl

Sharp Actius MM20 (Waiting for Sharp to send me a replacement. Sharp is awesome customer service. Well as long as your machine fuzzes on you during the 1 year warranty)
Laptop: [Onboard video=cannot play games.)
CPU: Transmeta Efficeon TM8600 Processor - 1.0GHz -->only good for certain programs. Files that need to be rendered are slow. Good for Mathlab, though.
Memory: 512MB DDR SDRAM
Display 10.4" XGA TFT LCD (1024 x 768)
Hard Drive: 20gb
OnboardLAN: 10 Base-T / 100 Base-TX, 802.11b/g Wireless
Battery Life Approx. 2 hrs, Approx 8.0 hrs with optional high-capacity battery
Weight: 2.0 lbs (2.8 with HI battery)

1)Xserver 1U
2) #X of 1.3 gigahertz P3, Dual gigabit Lan, 10 inch TouchScreen Monitor with 32bit scanners.
Home Depot style.

And a Fucking Os that can differentiate between Japanese and Chinese.
I'm getting really sick of my Japanese songs getting printed out in friggin Chinese.

What the fuck is wrong with Microsoft anyways? Is there OS so perfect that they dont even need to update their OS anymore? Windows Vista, bah. It's bullshit. The number of features that they've promised but cut from Vista is mind boggling. Vista's going to be a stopgap measure so that MS can compete with OS X two years from now.

Once Apple goes to Intel, i'm switching.

Friday, July 22, 2005


Technology Review: I SEE YOU!

Click on the Title to SEE A streaming WEBCAM of YOURS TRULY.


1) Two Vivitar 3350B Webcams $15.99 S&H from

2) One WebCam 4.00 Beta Software from

Mix, stir gently and wallaaa.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005


Comedy Bit of the Week

Thank Rumpelstiltskin for sending me this convo.
It's hilarious.
[Might have sexual innuendo for all you younger viewers. You've been forewarned.]

> bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
> BritneySpears14: Aight.
> bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
> BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
> bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
> BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
> bloodninja: Me too baby.
> BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
> bloodninja: I cast Lvl 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
> BritneySpears14: Hey...
> bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl 8 Penis of the
> Infinite.
> BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
> bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty of the Beyondness.
> BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
> bloodninja: Don't fuck with me biznitch, I'm th e mightiest sorcerer of the
> lands.
> bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl 1,000,000 Your body
> explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl 2 Druid.
> BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece.
> bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield
> inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
> bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil
> army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my
> accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
> bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
> bloodninja: Baby?
> ----------------
> bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it
> ready for you.
> j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
> bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
> j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.
> j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
> bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my
> breeding territory.
> j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
> j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
> bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
> j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
> bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They fucking charge your ass.
> j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
> bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to
> charge your ass.
> bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
> j_gurli3: thats it.
> bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic
> symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide
> and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in
> the air on my mighty horn.
> bloodninja: Fuck am I hard now.
> BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
> eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
> BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
> eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
> BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
> BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular
> physique.
> eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
> BritneySpears14: What the fuck, I told you not to message me again.
> eminemBNJA:
> BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your
> ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you fuck up.
> eminemBNJA: Oh
> eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something
> sweet17: Hi
> bloodninja: hello
> bloodninja: who is this?
> sweet17: just a someone?
> bloodninja: A someone I know?
> sweet17: nope
> bloodninja: Then why the hell are you bothering me?
> sweet17: well sorrrrrry
> sweet17: I just wanted to chat with you
> bloodninja: why?
> sweet17: nevermind your an jerk
> bloodninja: Hey wait a minute
> sweet17: yes?
> bloodninja: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid
> sweet17: paranoid?
> bloodninja: yes
> sweet17: of what?
> sweet17: me?
> bloodninja: No. I'm in hiding.
> sweet17: LOL
> bloodninja: Don't fucking laugh at me!
> bloodninja: This shit is serious!
> sweet17: What are you hiding from?
> bloodninja: The cops.
> sweet17: gimme a fucking break
> bloodninja: I'm serious.
> sweet17: I don't get it
> bloodninja: The cops are after me.
> sweet17: For what?
> bloodninja: I'm wanted in three states
> sweet17: For???
> bloodninja: It's kindof embarrasing.
> bloodninja: I had sex with a turkey.
> bloodninja: Hello?
> sweet17: You are fucking sick.
> bloodninja: Send me your picture.
> sweet17: why?
> bloodninja: so I know you aren't one of them.
> sweet17: One of what?
> bloodninja: The cops.
> sweet17: I'm not a cop i told you
> bloodninja: Then send me your picture.
> sweet17: hold on
> bloodninja: Hurry up.
> bloodninja: Are you there?
> bloodninja: Fuck you, cop!
> sweet17: Hey sorry
> sweet17: I had to do something for my mom.
> bloodninja: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.
> bloodninja: When really you wer e notifying the authorities.
> bloodninja: Weren't you!?
> sweet17: thats not it
> bloodninja: Then what?
> sweet17: I don't want to send you the picture cause I'm not pretty
> bloodninja: Most cops aren't
> bloodninja: Then send me the picture.
> sweet17: fine. What's your e-mail?
> bloodninja: Just send it through here.
> sweet17: alright *PIC*
> sweet17: Did you get it?
> bloodninja: Hold on. I'm looking.
> sweet17: That was me back in may
> sweet17: I've lost weight since then.
> bloodninja: I hope so
> sweet17: what?!?
> sweet17: that hurt my feelings.
> bloodninja: Did it?
> sweet17: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now.
> bloodninja: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?
> sweet17: yes
> bloodninja: Alrigh t let me find it.
> sweet17: kks
> bloodninja: Okay here it is. *PIC*
> sweet17: this isn't you.
> bloodninja: I'll be damned if it ain't!
> sweet17: You don't look like that.
> bloodninja: How the hell do you know?
> sweet17: cause your profile has another picture.
> bloodninja: The profile pic is a fake.
> bloodninja: I use it to hide from the cops.
> sweet17: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol
> bloodninja: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy....
> bloodninja: Not to mention all the groceries.
> sweet17: Go fuck yourself
> bloodninja: I was going to until I saw that picture
> bloodninja: Now my unit won't get hard for a week.
> sweet17: I shouldn't have sent you that picture.
> sweet17: You've done nothing but slam me.
> sweet17: you hurt me.
> bloodninja: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hu rt me?
> sweet17: I thought you were bullcrapping me!
> bloodninja: Why would I do that?
> sweet17: I can't believe that cops are after you
> bloodninja: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap..
> sweet17: FUCK YOU!!!
> bloodninja: You'd break both of his legs.
> sweet17: You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE!
> sweet17: I've been teased my whole life because of my weight
> sweet17: and you make fun of me when you don't even know me
> bloodninja: Ok. I'm sorry.
> sweet17: No you aren't
> bloodninja: You're right. I'm not.
> bloodninja: HAARRRRR!
> sweet17: I'm done with you
> bloodninja: Aww. I'm sorry.
> sweet17: I'm putting you on ignore
> bloodninja: Wait a sec
> bloodninja: We got off on the wrong foot.
> bloodninja: Wanna start over?
> sweet17: No
> bloodninja: I'll eat your kitty
> sweet17:< /B> You'll what?
> bloodninja: You heard me.
> bloodninja: I said I'd eat your kitty.
> sweet17: I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my
> picture
> bloodninja: Do I need a hard-on to eat your kitty?
> sweet17: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes
> bloodninja: Well I'm not like most men.
> bloodninja: I get excited in different ways.
> sweet17: Like what?
> bloodninja: Do you really wanna know?
> sweet17: I don't know
> bloodninja: You have to tell me yes or no.
> sweet17: I'm afraid to
> bloodninja: Why?
> sweet17: cause
> bloodninja: cause why?
> sweet17: well lets see
> sweet17: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna
> eat me out
> sweet17: doesn't that seem strange to you?
> bloodninja: Nope
> sweet17: well its strange to me
> bloodninja: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to
> sweet17: I didn't say that
> bloodninja: So is that a yes?
> sweet17: I guess so.
> bloodninja: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.
> bloodninja: Are you willing?
> sweet17: What do you need me to do?
> bloodninja: I need you talk like a pirate.
> sweet17: ???
> bloodninja: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!"
> bloodninja: ok?
> bloodninja: Hello?
> sweet17: You can't be serious
> bloodninja: Oh yes I am!
> bloodninja: It's my fantasy.
> sweet17: this is retarded
> bloodninja: Do you want it or not?
> sweet17: Yes I want it.
> bloodninja: Then you'll do it for me?
> sweet17: sure
> bloodninja: Ok. Here we go.
> bloodninja: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.
> bloodninja : You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up
> against them
> bloodninja: I softly begin to tounge your wet kitty.
> bloodninja: I run my tounge up and down your smooth clit.
> sweet17: mmmm yeah
> bloodninja: uh oh ...going limp.
> sweet17: Har
> bloodninja: You gotta do better than that!
> bloodninja: Your picture was really bad.
> bloodninja: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your kitty get more moist with every
> stroke.
> bloodninja: I softly suck on your clit bringing it in and out of my mouth.
> bloodninja: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my
> nose.
> bloodninja: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.
> sweet17: mmmmmm you are good
> bloodninja: I feel your thighs tighten as I suck harder
> bloodninja: going limp
> sweet17: HARRRRRRR
> bloodninja: Mmmm I gra b your swelling buttocks in my hands.
> bloodninja: You begin to sway back and forth.
> bloodninja: going limp
> sweet17: this is stupid
> bloodninja: ...still limp
> bloodninja: Do it!
> bloodninja: I turn you around to lick your asshole.
> bloodninja: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.
> bloodninja: I see poo nuggets hanging from the hair around your ass.
> sweet17: WTF?!?!?
> bloodninja: They stink really bad.
> sweet17: OMG STOP!!!
> bloodninja: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass
> bloodninja: I tear off your wooden peg leg.
> bloodninja: I ram it up your ass.
> bloodninja: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.
> bloodninja: And turn you into a fucking candy apple...
> bloodninja: I kick you in the face!
> sweet17: FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!!
> bloodninja: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin...
> bloodninja: Your parrot flys away.
> bloodninja: ...going limp again.
> bloodninja: Hello?
> bloodninja: Say it!
> bloodninja: HAARRRRRR!!!!!

To Be Continued...


Monday, July 18, 2005


Grey's Anatomy: Peekaboo I SEE YOU!

The's not dead. Yes. Animal Rights People don't worry! I didn't hurt no furry burry.

To sate my readers: here. Peekaboo!
Image hosted by
Lovely Picture for you.
Image hosted by
And Another.
Image hosted by
And yet another.

Thursday, July 14, 2005


Grey's Anatomy 101 Update: Hamster Surgery

I cant post pictures of dead hamsters on the net.
Something to do with 'company policy'. Bah. Fascists.

Let me see if i can get some private server space.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005


Movie Review: Fantastic Four

Before you take this review please note that I dont care one lick about the story in Fantastic Four.

The story is simple. It's not stupid, it's just simple.

The characters however are likable and there are certain exploitable relationships between them that were exploited. A lot of the funny moments were not just one-liners but genuine funny moments. Situational humor that takes a bit of time to develop. The Human Torch and The Thing are good enough to have their own movie, incidentally.

But Dr. Doom is such a standard villain, he becomes a tad boring.

But then again, this movie doesnt aim high. If you liked Spider-man or X-men, you should enjoy this movie as well. If you hate it, that just means you read too many online reviews. For god's sake, almost all the other comic book movies have worst plots and even worse execution.

Remember that Daredevil had a decent plot--it was the characters that didnt captivate the audience. And Fantastic four is character-driven as hell.

Roger Ebert, are you bought and paid for by Warner Bros? My guess is that the Major Studios are afraid of Marvel and have really turned on their propaganda machine.

Monday, July 11, 2005


New York News: Gas Price Not Nice

New York Gas Prices hit a new high today.
2 fucking 70. American Dollars.

Fucking A.

It's the end of world.

A local in New York had this to say about rising gas prices:
"I find myself driving less and less every month"

In which i respond,
"Fuck you, you call that a quote. That's what I get for hiring Chinese labor."

Oiram signing off.


Grey's Anatomy 101

I've always had a copy of Grey's Anatomy.

But i've never read it through. Prolly cuz it's a layman's reference book.

So I've decided to buy a hamster tomorrow. And then i'm going to shave it. And then I'm going to cut a 3 cm gash on its skin and then sew him up with my needle.

I'll be posting pictures.

Don't worry. I'll use marijuana and some desensitizing cream on the wound. I'm not inhuman.

Sunday, July 10, 2005


Comics/Tech News: Is There Anything Pixar Can't Do?

Source: cinematical

Some of Pixar's artists have decided that they've got spare time enough to start a little comic book company.

Tales of Colossus
by Mark Andrews

Okay, this one isnt my shtick. The art is pedestrian. It could just be the Powers motif but the lines are a bit sloppy. But i dont mind that. It's the story. A knight gets trapped inside a robot, and has to fight against an evil palading. Army vs. Army Lord of the Rings type stuff.

I'm pretty sure I like LOTR. I like wargames. I also like mecha.
I'm also pretty sure that there won't be gore in this comic.
I'm also pretty sure that there won't be any mention of the redeeming aspects of being greedy, ambitious, and horny.
I'm also pretty sure that the author has no idea how to build a robot from scratch otherwise Colossus would be more practical and stir the imagination more.

I hate to be mean. But those points i've mentioned are my god-honest first impressions. I'm prolly not qualified to judge many of the panels but I do draw a lot of robots, and that robot just dull. Robot enthusiasts crave detail.

Rose and Isabel
by Ted S Mathot

Now this has a very interesting plot. 2 sisters save 3 brothers during Civil War. There's a mission. Therefore, a climax is guaranteed. There's the whole feminine Saving Private Ryan aspect. There's rationalized heroics because those sisters'll do anything for their family. And there's love. All this can be imagined with just the premise. If I sall this at the local 'mark, I w'd definitely buy it.

The Champion

by Simon Dunsdon

This one is a bit iffy. The art is stylish noir. It has a definite Batman TAS feel to it. It all depends on the writing this one since the premise isnt as fresh as Rose and Isabel--well it's not suppose to since this is a retro homage to the older films that pionered the genre--fuck, what was I talking about. Oh yeah. Two Thumbs Sideways.


E-ville Press: The Comic Book Company
There were more Pixar artists but I didnt quite like their site layout. So just head over to E-ville and grab their names off the right-hand navi-bar, and peruse them at your accruement.

Saturday, July 09, 2005


Asian Movie Review: Twins Effect

Ah, The Twins. Cute Spice and Scary Spice.
In a Movie. A Movie that spawned a sequel.

I have no idea what the plot is. You shouldnt either. It's Popcorn/Good.
It's like a vampire flying around with really pretty people. And then suddenly Cute spice appears and says, "fuck, i'm fucking cute. Just watch me dammit."

You tilt your head and then shrug, "okay."

You dont like this review? Fuck off. Just download the Twins Effect. You'll enjoy it. Fucking Twins. So fucking Marketable.


Geekomon Podcast number 1 is up!!!

This Week in Geekopodcasts, we have the Tips to Follow by in China and Fable of the Week.
Check the links section for the podcasts.

I think the Tips Feature has too much on my views. In the feature it will be in a Top Ten format. Personally, I like the Fable of the Week though.

Today's Fable of the Week is from Herodotus' The Histories in which I've enititled "The Son of Bitch Strikes Back".

Tell me if this is a good idea, bad idea, or just leave me a voice mail for no reason.
Or leave comments.

Oiram signing off.


Friday, July 08, 2005



I've decided that should have a podcast. I'll be hosting a weekly, hopefully, podcast under the handle Oiram. Should you see the Links Section to house a 'Podcasts Page' anchor link, then that means I'm ready for my dry run.

I'll be talking about predominantly asian things. Anime, asian movies, my trip to asia, etc etc. As well as featurettes about the books Romance of the Three Kingdoms and Sun Tzu's Art of War. In fact, I'll be talking about any book i'm reading. I just finished Herodotus' Histories--fascinating read. It's a great book for insomniacs.

Oiram signing off.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005


Itunes 4.9: Year of the Podcasts

Hhahahah. Podcasts are mad funny. Now that Itunes has integrated Podcasts into its shell, the popularity of Podcasts are now Boom Boom through the roof.

It's good because you get a bunch of different stuff.
I havent found anything interesting--it's mainly newsfeeds, no original content, but it's pretty cool.
I'm listening to some Gay Guy's podcast. It's so funny. Its like a window into the homosexual world. "Like, Oh my god, it's sooooo humid out."


Podcast I'm Listening to.

International>Chinese>Pigcast (Cantonese)

Monday, July 04, 2005


Movie Review: Batman Begins

I give 14 stars. And then take away 14 stars.

While the scenes pan from one another seamlessly, the action scenes, the car chase, and the martial arts are choppy.

There are really weird jokes that stop the momentum of the movie. It's because they arent funny. Almost like an afterthought.

There's also lines in the script that make use of the thematic literary device of phrase repeating which only worked once out of the 90 times they used it.

The lighting is weird. The costume is weird. The Mask is weird.

The Burton Design is just so much cooler looking. Y'know? Burton's Gotham was a caricature, sure, but it was New York. Nolan/Goyer's vision of Gotham is Chicago. A Chicago with a monorail. A monorail who exists solely to serve the plot. And anyone who's traveled can tell you NY is the only REAL city in America. Besides LA.

The script is well formed though. All the logic kinks work out and there's no ambivalent contradicty stuff. Then again, it's no Braveheart. Who and what the hell is Katie Holmes doing in this film?

All in all, a very entertaining but wildly unnecessary film.

Sunday, July 03, 2005


The Prodigal Son Returns

Well I'm back!

There happened to be no antique bookstores in China. There were some but they had a really small selection.

Oh, and while China is hot and sticky, no one wears Venezuelan Hot Mama clothing. Transportation consists of moving between one air conditioned four walled vehicle to another well equipped building.

Here's a list of quaint oddities I've noticed about China.
1. Factory heavy cities have no stars. No sun. NO moon either. Just a wonderful sheen of black smog.

2. People are really short. Nanjing, Beijing, and Hanzhou(north) are of passable height though.

3. There's a billion entrepeneurs in China. There's 500 million times as many poor people.
Fighting amidst the young ppl happen constantly at the discos.

4. People snort K, eat rock, and dance to X constantly in Guangdong.

5. There's ppl there richer than God.

6. The average person knows jack shit about electronics in China. But they buy the best, latest and priciest.

7. Advertising is everywhere in China. They've made advertising into an import good.

8. Companies that do poorly globally have risen like a phoenix in China. See Observation #6 and #7.

9. There ARE no patrol police. As long as you don't beat someone to death, there's nary a problem. A gang in US counts in double digits. A gang in China counts in 3 digits. Gang Warfare in China would prolly need G7s and supply trains. Hehe.

10. From the top down, China is being swarmed by black-haired squinty eyed, short cockaroaches. Then you arrive, and realize that there's a fucking lot of ppl in China.

11. The Subway is scared of China. It refuses to go anywhere into China. The Subway and Sewage Disposal are probably hiding out in Macau or something.

12. Hotels are the only places with decent plumbing.

13. Military Police Patrol at Night like Mini-me's. Small but sharp. So sharp in fact, they carry AK-47s, MI's, grenades, launchers, but if you yell at them in English they flee like little girls.

I did some sketches of some girls I saw. I'll post it up later. If I feel like it.

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